GaySeniors.Info BLOG

About a week ago I found a very interesting Blog, which fits into this site very well. Go there and read what this MD has to say about gay and also about seniors and relationship with seniors. I was very thrilled reading through the site. Also have a look to the links, most of them are also very interesting. May be you like it too – please tell us what you think.

http://www.magneticfire.com

Here just some lines from the blog owner - L Olson MD

Loren Olson MD

“For some men, the sexual attraction to another man is unexpected, unwanted and yet unavoidable. Like a moth to a flame, some men are magnetically drawn to other men, often after having made considerable efforts made to resist it. It is like a magnetic fire.

Mature gay men are a diverse group and include all ethnicities, religions, and socio-economic and political groups. For mature gay men who have delayed coming out until mid-life, coming out is much different than it is for younger men.

It is my goal to help others remove some of the psychological barriers so they may reach harmony and peace within and in relationship to others. Since your experiences are important and a largely neglected part of social research, I look forward to hearing from  you.

Come, join with me in the search for understanding, acceptance and reconciliation.”

“A non-scientific survey done by a convenience sampling of younger men a few years ago found that the thing which attracted younger men to older men most often was “looks, demeanor and physique,” but the looks they are attracted to aren’t what the stereotype would predict. “Looks” was followed by “sexuality,” “wisdom and experience,” and “softness.” Lowest on the list were “money” and “stability.”

These findings may surprise older men who suspicious of the motives of the younger man and find it difficult to trust that those handsome young men are seriously interested in them for their looks, wisdom and softness. They have become used to seeing themselves as older men who have lost some, if not a lot, of their vitality, and many detest the changes in their bodies, expecting that any potential partner would abhor them just as much. Many are surprised that their physical appearance is precisely what the younger man finds attractive. As one young man said, however, “Mature men just make me horny.”

Hospitals, Male nurses and Daddy Doctors a fantasy? Maybe or NOT.

I was as you may have guessed out of circulation because the site hasn’t seemed to grow and add a lot of new things; I was in the hospital for Major Stomach Bi Pass redo surgery. I have had so many surgeries that Naked I look like a road map. I have had great hospital stays and not so great Hospital stays and some in-between.   

This one was a mixture of GREAT and what the hell am I doing here? It started several months ago I had some stomach problems and I wasn’t sure what was causing them. I had a stomach bi pass back in the stone ages of the Bi pass surgery era. Over 20 years ago a stomach bi pass was almost a death sentence. Thank GOD and a wonderful Dr. Butler. I am still here today to aggravate everyone especially my partner. I was to say the least very lucky to be at the right place at the right time. But over 20 years have passed and the Bi pass gave way and gave me Grief. So I had to have a redo. I was told when I had it it would not be able to be redone. I hope they were wrong.

It took me a little under 4 weeks to get all my tests and evaluations done for the Dr. so we could proceed with the surgery. I had one hell of a time getting my paper work together. I’m so glad I didn’t need emergency surgery I would have been dead now if that was the case. My Death report would have read Died due to malfunction in office mail.

The hospital I went to had a really excellent reputation and I was very lucky to be again at the right place at the right time. My Dr was wonderful and the nurse team was incredible.
I felt I was in Very Good hands.

The surgery went very well and they were able to do it Laparoscopic. I’m not sure if its spelt right but it means that they did it with only a few little cuts and not by cutting me from stem to stern like the first time. I am told the healing time is a lot faster. I will find out if there right. I was up the day of the surgery and am doing well. Again Thank God and a very good surgeon. I am on the mend and already have lost 30 pounds. I went from 20 years ago weighing in at a nice 500 pounds to the 234 lbs I am now. I am less than half the man I used to be. I owe my life to Bariatric surgery and some great Dr’s and people who really cared about me. I tried everything to loose weight but to no avail. At over 500 lbs. a stomach ulcer ( that I had for years ) ruptured and I was as good as dead. I am not suppose to be here but once again than God for putting some very special Dr’s in my life.

If you have a weight problem and would like to chat with me about what happened in my life please email me here at the site and we can contact each other and see what happens.
I would love to tell you my experiences. Good Bad and otherwise.

Now I’m not sure if it was the drugs they gave me or what but I had some of the best Fantasy dreams I have ever had. I can truly say that this was an EXCITING experience.

I am still waiting for that special fantasy to come true where a good looking older Dr gives me exam I wont forget and sends me home with a clean bill of health, along with a BIG SMILE on my face.
Tell me and all our other members in the BLOG area about any experiences or fantasies you might have had. I would love to read all about them.

I am so blessed to be back and you will hear a lot more of me in the weeks to come.
If you are thinking of, or would like to talk about Bariatric surgery send me an e mail (Put my name Rob) in the subject and send it to. seniors@gayseniors.info

It’s so good to be back and sorry for not being on the site Manny and I have both been in the Hospital. With him taking care of me and me being a grumpy old patient.

Hope to hear from all of you soon

Will you still love me when I’m smaller?

by   G. Youngman, MBA, MPH

Welcome to the 2008 National Gay Men’s Health Summit:
Building a Multi- Issue, Multicultural Gay Men’s Health Movement.

If you are interested in leading a workshop at the Summit, please click here to submit a proposal.

If you are interested in sponsoring the Summit, or contributing to the scholarship fund, please email gmhs2008@gaycity.org. The Gay Men’s Health Summit is a national call to all LGBT/ queer communities and our important allies from across this nation to come together to build a multi-issue, multicultural gay men’s health movement focused on long-term strategic goals for gay/bi/queer men’s health and wellness. The Summit will cover a full range of health concerns, ranging from physical and mental health, to social issues, to community building and organizing, and is inclusive of all gay/bi/queer men, including those who identify as transgender or who have transgender histories. Read the national call to the Summit here.This summit seeks to encompass many of the same health issues and concerns as traditional health conferences, but with an important difference. This conference takes a look at those issues from the perspective of those who face disparities and discrimination in their everyday work lives and home lives. We engage in deep thinking and extended discussion about new responses and innovative programming. Earlier summits have been described as nurturing retreats, exciting think tanks, and moments of great enlightenment. Read more about the Summit here.

We create activities where we ask attendees to reach out across ethnic / racial, generational, and socioeconomic differences and begin to talk and work toward common goals. We avoid a focus on celebrities and big names, and we take plenty of time to relax, have fun, and make connections with other participants in meaningful ways.

While the summit will include speakers, panels, workshops, and organizing meetings, it will also include interactive exercises, experiential education activities, yoga and other forms of self-care, as well as creative festivities.

The 2008 Summit will take place October 17-21 at the Renaissance Seattle Hotel, located at 515 Madison Street. 

Registration will open June 15, so check back for updates!

If you care about creating healthy, sustainable, multicultural communities for queer men, join us in Seattle for the National Gay Men’s Health Summit!!

For more information or to get involved, email gmhs2008@gaycity.org  

Gay Men’s Health Summit | About the Summit

National Gay Men’s Health Summit 2008 October 17-21, 2008 Seattle, Washington.

Welcoming people of all genders who support the health and well being of men who are gay, bisexual, queer, or have sex with men.

This gathering’s events will encompass the needs of all gay/bi/queer men, including those who are FTM or transgender-identified.

OverviewHundreds of local, national, and international leaders working to support the health and wellness of our communities will join forces at Gay Men’s Health Summit 2008 in Seattle, Washington from October 17-21, 2008. Many people are anticipating this event with great enthusiasm. They are eager to come together in Seattle for several reasons:

• Many are ready to tackle the ways in which federal, state, and local politics are creating barriers to the health and wellness of our communities and want to engage in collective activism and strong advocacy on behalf of gay, bisexual, and queer health.

• Some people attended the earlier gay men’s health summits in 1999, 2000, 2003 and 2005 and found them to be rejuvenating retreats that expanded their commitment to our communities’ health and left them restored and reinvigorated.

• Others are eager for a chance to learn more about community building, sexual empowerment, and the health needs of gay, bisexual, and queer men in a comfortable and supportive setting.

• Some want to be present because this Summit is a landmark convergence of activists, health providers, policy-makers, and community leaders working on a range of issues impacting the health and wellness of our communities.

• Still others consider GMHS 2008 to be the launching pad for a new movement among gay, bisexual, queer, and transgender men committed to building caring, democratic, and activist communities.

All are welcome to join in this event and contribute to creating a powerful and comprehensive program that addresses the central features facing our communities at this time.

Objectives

This year’s program will prominently feature four key objectives:

• To strengthen our movement’s infrastructure by training a cohort of independent activists for leadership roles in local, regional, and national gay men’s health movements.

• To support and grow a powerful health promotion effort specifically targeting gay, bisexual, and queer men of color throughout the United States.

• To improve the sexual health of men who have sex with men by launching activism demanding research into technologies that reduce health risks associated with sex between men.
• To draw public attention to the health and wellness of middle-age and older gay men of all colors, classes, and ethnicities and to support the creation of various local and national projects designed to meet the needs of these men.

Following on the heels of other gay men’s health summits held in Boulder, Colorado, Raleigh, North Carolina and Salt Lake City, Utah -and after many local summits were held- Gay Men’s Health Summit 2008 is expected to expand our activist grassroots movement aimed at:

• Transforming the public conversation on gay male populations from one narrowly focused on disease and victimization to an expanded focus including our rich community assets, and our collective resistance and resilience.

• Strengthening local efforts supporting the health and wellness of gay, bisexual, and transgender men through the creation of grassroots health projects addressing not only HIV, but a broad range of health challenges facing our communities.
• Reviving our individual and collective spirits after the first two and a half decades of HIV efforts, recreating the infrastructure of a nurturing and life-affirming community, and restoring a broad community agenda focused as much on celebration and community-building as on responding to disease and discrimination.What to expectThis is no ordinary health conference. Instead, GMHS 2008 will attempt to cut through the professionalism and “attitude” of many gatherings focused on gay male health and create a warm, welcoming, and equitable climate at the summit. We come together in Seattle and move beyond our occupational identities and affiliations and reach across all kinds of differences – racial, generational, geographic, and political – to restore an original vision of gay liberation. So consider joining us in Seattle for an event that may be like nothing you’ve experienced before:

• It is a five-day retreat that will offer all of us plenty of time to rest, rejuvenate, and become recommitted to creating strong and resilient queer communities throughout the nation.

• It is an agenda-setting meeting where leading doctors, activists, health workers, policymakers, holistic healers, community organizers, and mental health professionals come together to grapple collectively with a range of health challenges facing gay men.

• It’s a space where we gather to talk about our communities with an emphasis on our assets and our collective strengths; a place where we talk about desire and sexual cultures thoughtfully and critically but also celebrate our bodies and acknowledge the powerful link between sex and the spirit.  It’s as much about building community and reflecting on our identities as it is about HIV, cancer, depression or violence.

Join us in Seattle in October if you are eager to find a community of open hearted people who are seriously committed to improving the health and wellness of local communities.

Join with us as we continue to build a multi-issue, multicultural Gay Men’s Health Movement!

This is your opportunity as members of the Gay Community to learn more about your Health other HIV/AIDS. Everyone is welcome to attend

G. Youngman, MBA, MPH

G. Youngman, MBA, MPH Gay and Bi men’s Health Consultant

Older gay men — in the 35-50 age bracket — are at the highest risk of HIV and need particular support to avoid seroconversion, two New York prevention experts said. Spencer Cox, executive director of the Medius Institute for Gay Men’s Health, and psychologist Bruce Kellerhouse emphasized that added support for this group of men isn’t about simply providing them with information about HIV risk, as you might do to a gay teenager. Writing in the New York magazine Gay City News they said, “Handing a 45-year-old man another safer sex brochure just isn’t going to do the job. We urgently need to create programs that directly address the real reasons that gay men engage in high-risk behavior.” The peak rate for HIV acquisition has increased throughout the Western world (and, indeed, in parts of Africa). The median age at diagnosis now stands at around 35, from 28 in the early 1990s. Data from the U.K. Health Protection Agency recently showed that the rate of new HIV infections was decreasing in young gay men in London, while in older men it was staying steady or increasing. Partly, the numbers are a consequence of the general aging of the HIV-positive population. More HIV-positive men are now in their late 30s and 40s; the negative men most at risk are likely to be ones in the same age bracket — despite stereotypes, most gay men stick to guys near their own age for sex. In part, it’s also because HIV medications may have made HIV-positive men somewhat less infectious in general — so it takes a longer period of sexual risk-taking, on average, before you draw the short straw one night and contract HIV. However, Cox and Kellerhouse noted, middle-aged men also have emotional and social needs that go unrecognized. “Midlife gay men have lived most of their adult lives during the worst of the HIV/AIDS epidemic, experiencing the loss of partners, friends and people in their community,” they wrote. “By 1988, gay men had already on average lost six lovers, friends and/or family members. Researchers have shown that people who had more experiences of AIDS-related loss also had higher levels of traumatic stress response symptoms and recreational drug and sedative use. “However, almost no effort has been made to study the long-term impact of the AIDS epidemic on midlife gay men, or to determine whether current elevated levels of risk-taking behaviors in gay men are related to the trauma of surviving one of the worst epidemics in our history.” The epidemic of methamphetamine (crystal meth) use that has hit the gay community in the USA is primarily concentrated, not among the young or poor, but by white, middle-aged and often professional gay men -¿ at least in terms of men who use meth to connect sexually (though younger gay guys may be turning to it as a club drug). Cox and Kellerhouse linked the trauma and loss sustained during the AIDS years to the drugs-and-sex culture. “Having survived the HIV pandemic, urban gay men in midlife may be particularly vulnerable to the negative effects of decimated social networks. Difficulty in making and sustaining relationships is a characteristic effect of traumatized people,” they said. In other words: Having seen their “gay families” (particularly important to gay men who may have little support from their biological families) disappear; having found themselves in an ageist gay culture; and having had difficulty making truly rewarding new friendships, middle-aged gay men may fall back instead on drugs and sex. The coauthors called for less emphasis on safer-sex and public health information, urging the creation of more programs that support gay men affected by depression, anxiety, dysfunctional relationships and loneliness. Responses to the article were mixed. One guy who stayed HIV negative for 15 years but caught HIV when he got into meth said it echoed his own experience. “I loved how it [crystal] made me feel and the person it turned me into, as far as sex was concerned. I was willing to take any risk while high.” He said he felt embarrassed about having become positive now, but that the article had reassured him others would understand his feelings. Another said he felt that middle-aged gay men’s romance with the drug culture was all about wanting to be accepted: “After years of being safe, and included, we find ourselves excluded. Enter drugs ¿ meth, ecstasy, GHB, Ketamine, cocaine, crack and alcohol, all help to make these feelings disappear. We feel connection to another and wow, people are actually interested in us. We belong, woo hoo ¿ but the sad fact is that we are losing who we are as well as our health.” However, another questioned the link made to the loss of friendships though AIDS. He said he had caught HIV, at the age of 43, after the death of his mother and the breakup of a 12-year relationship. “But most of my gay male friends are HIV negative and have remained so. I’ve spoken to several other men my age who seroconverted later in life, and none of us lost close friends in the epidemic. But we did feel that we missed out on the ‘wild’ sex and drugs of the late ’70s and early ’80s. For us, our risk-taking had more to do with midlife depression than with unprocessed grief over earlier losses.” Another said that making AIDS the only trauma gay men suffer was to use an alibi. In his case, he was sure the cause lay deeper, in childhood experiences of sexual abuse and resultant low self-esteem. Cox and Kellerhouse acknowledged that not all gay men in middle age were attracted to drugs and high-risk sex, but pointed out that a certain vulnerable group is. Studies have shown that meth-using gay men who were recently infected with HIV had approximately nine times the number of unsafe sexual encounters as uninfected men during the previous six months. “We’ve found that there are a number of men, apparently quite successful and sociable, who’ve arrived at middle age with a large number of acquaintances, and few, if any, close friends,” they replied. “Mid-life gay men often feel that their experience of the epidemic is ignored — and their struggles unappreciated.”

G. Youngman, MBA,MPH Health Consultant, Gay and Bi Men’s health

Everyone feels “blue” at certain times during his or her life. In fact, transitory feelings of sadness or discouragement are perfectly normal, especially during particularly difficult times. But a person who cannot “snap out of it” or get over these feelings within two weeks may be suffering from the illness called depression.

Depression is one of the most common and treatable of all mental illnesses. In any six-month period, 9.4 million Americans (340 million people in the world) suffer from this disease. One in four women and one in 10 men can expect to develop it during their lifetime. No one is immune from depression – it occurs in people of all social classes, all countries and all cultural settings. Eighty to 90 percent of those who suffer from depression can be effectively treated, and nearly all people who receive treatment derive some benefit.

Unfortunately, many fail to recognize the illness and get the treatment that would alleviate their suffering. They or their loved ones fail to notice a pattern and instead may attribute the physical symptoms to “the flu,” the sleeping and eating problems to “stress,” and the emotional problems to lack of sleep or improper eating.

But if people looked at all of these symptoms together and noticed that they occur over long periods of time, they might recognize them as signs of depression.

What Is Depression?

The term “depression” can be confusing since it’s often used to describe normal emotional reactions. At the same time, the illness may be hard to recognize because its symptoms may be so easily attributed to other causes. People tend to deny the existence of depression by saying things like, “She has a right to be depressed! Look at what she’s gone through.” This attitude fails to recognize that people can go through tremendous hardships and stress without developing depression, and that those who suffer from depression can and should seek treatment.

 Nearly everyone suffering from depression has pervasive feelings of sadness. In addition, depressed people may feel helpless, hopeless, and irritable. You should seek professional help if you or someone you know has had four or more of the following symptoms continually or most of the time for more than two weeks:

• Noticeable change of appetite, with either significant weight loss not attributable to dieting or weight gain.
• Noticeable change in sleeping patterns, such as fitful sleep, inability to sleep, early morning awakening, or sleeping too much.
• Loss of interest and pleasure in activities formerly enjoyed.
• Loss of energy, fatigue.
• Feelings of worthlessness.
• Persistent feelings of hopelessness.
• Feelings of inappropriate guilt.
• Inability to concentrate or think, indecisiveness.
• Recurring thoughts of death or suicide, wishing to die, or attempting suicide. (Note: People suffering this symptom should receive treatment immediately!)
• Melancholia (defined as overwhelming feelings of sadness and grief), accompanied by waking at least two hours earlier than normal in the morning, feeling more depressed in the morning, and moving significantly more slowly.
• Disturbed thinking, a symptom developed by some severely depressed persons. For example, severely depressed people sometimes have beliefs not based in reality about physical disease, sinfulness, or poverty.
• Physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches.

For many victims of depression, these mental and physical feelings seem to follow them night and day, appear to have no end, and are not alleviated by happy events or good news. Some people are so disabled by feelings of despair that they cannot even build up the energy to call a doctor. If someone else calls for them, they may refuse to go because they are so hopeless that they think there’s no point to it.

Family, friends, and co-workers offer advice, help, and comfort. But over time, they become frustrated with victims of depression because their efforts are to no avail. The person won’t follow advice, refuses help, and denies the comfort. But persistence can pay off.

Many doctors think depression is the illness that underlies the majority of suicides in our country. Suicide is the eighth leading cause of death in America; it is the third leading cause of death among people aged 15 to 24. Every day 15 people aged 15 to 24 kill themselves. One of the best strategies for preventing suicide is the early recognition and treatment of the depression.

Depression can appear at any age. Current research suggests that treatable depression is very prevalent among children and adolescents, especially among offspring of adults with depression. Depression can also strike late in life, and its symptoms–including memory impairment, slowed speech, and slowed movement–may be mistaken for those of senility or stroke.

 Scientists think that more than half of the people who have had one episode of major depression will have another at some point in their lives. Some victims have episodes separated by several years and others suffer several episodes of the disorder over a short period. Between episodes, they can function normally. However, 20 to 35 percent of the victims suffer chronic depression that prevents them from maintaining a normal routine.

Sadness at the loss of a loved one or over a divorce is normal, but these losses can also be the trigger for a depressive episode. In fact, most major environmental changes can trigger depression. Job promotions, moves to new areas, changes in living space–all can bring on depressive illness.