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Observations on Growing Older

December 23rd, 2009

~ Your  kids are becoming you…and you don’t like them …but  your grandchildren are perfect!

~ Going out  is good. Coming  home is better!

~ When  people say you look “Great”… they add  “for your age!”

~ When you  needed the discount you paid full price. Now you  get discounts on everything …
movies,  hotels,flights.

~ You  forget names … but it’s OK because  other people forgot they even  knew you!!!

~ The 5  pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance  of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.

~ You  realize you’re never going to be  really good at anything …. especially golf.

~ Your  husband is counting on you to remember things you don’t  remember.

~ The  things you cared to do, you don’t  care to do, but you  care that you don’t care  to do them anymore.

~ Your  husband sleeps better on a lounge chair  with the TV  blaring than he does in  bed.
It’s  called his “pre-sleep”.

~ Remember  when your mother said, “Wear clean  underwear in case you GET in an  accident” Now you  bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an  accident!

~ You used  to say, “I hope my  kids GET married … Now, “I  hope they STAY married!”

~ You miss  the days when everything worked with just  an “ON” and “OFF”  switch.

~ When  GOOGLE, I-pod, E-mail, Modem … were unheard  of and a mouse was something  that made you climb on  a table.

~ You use  more 4 letter words … “what?”…”when?”  ???

~ Now  that you can afford expensive  jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it  anywhere.

~ Your  husband has a night out with the guy but he’s home by 9:00  P.M …next week it will be 8:30  P.M.

~ You read  100 pages into a book before you realize  you’ve read it.

~ Notice  everything they sell in stores is  “sleeveless”?!!!

~ What  used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~ Everybody  whispers.

~ Now  that your husband has retired … you’d give anything if he’d find a  job!

~ You have  3 sizes of clothes in your closet …. 2 of which you will  never wear.

~~~~ But  old is good in some things: old songs,  old movies

And best  of all   =   OLD  FRIENDS!!

Author: Manfred Categories: HUMOR
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